there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
