I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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