i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Randomize
