these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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