gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
