So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
