His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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