dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
