Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
