Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
