I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
