I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
