Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Randomize
