she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize