Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
