god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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