You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
