a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
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