Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
