Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
