..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
