we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
if only i could text you this smell
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
The Olympian is in my bed
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
