I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
