I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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