Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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