does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
