I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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