Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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