she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
