We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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