Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
