Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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