I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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