she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
