Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
