he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
