Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
