how can u be prego again
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Randomize
