nut hugger
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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