youre lurking in front of me
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Bring me that man meat
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
