3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
