my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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