My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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