If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
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