We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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