you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize