I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
