I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize