i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
and you fell through a lawn chair
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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