doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
