the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
