You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize