we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
