Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
organizing the empties. That sober.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
