she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
