i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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